Hey I know y’all like to party

Catch me going bottle to face with ditch vodka.

What’s ditch vodka, you ask all cute and naive like.

Well, you look at the bottom shelf, then scroll to the cheapest available bottle, which may be plastic. $5.99 on sale at Kroger for a fifth.

That’s ditch vodka.

I had actually abused stimulants to avoid dying of alcohol withdrawals a while back

Now I just ate some hand sanitizer. 62% ethanol, Equate bottle. That’s 124 proof. Regular vodka is 80 proof, for comparison.

Proper alcoholic, I am. In rehab now.

Don’t forget to get help whenever you might need it.

m’organ failure

lol

Edit: drunk