Does anyone else wish they were drunk all the time

When I’m sober I just feel numb. Like I’m just waiting for the next time I can feel drunk and alive again. I’m turning into a heavy alcoholic. I wish scientists could just create a way that alcoholics like me could be drunk all the time with no health repercussions. Like a pill or something we can take daily to be naturally drunk.

This is just so blissful (this drunk) and I wish it would never end. :/