Fear of alcohol?

Hi I’m a 20 yo female. All of my friends drink and so do my family members. They all drink socially and i have no history of alcoholism in my family. I used to drink a bit in high school as well as smoke a lot of weed but one day I just couldn’t do it anymore. I have emetophobia so I thought that may be the reason but I’m not as worried about throwing up if I’m not sick. I also am used to people throwing up around me and I know that I have to drink A LOT to get sick. Another reason might be that when i was smoking and drinking in high school I was in an abusive relationship. I get very bad anxiety now when my partner is intoxicated and wants to have sex because I have sexual trauma. He knows this and is very respectful of my boundaries. I have also had 3 instances where a couple sips of alcohol makes my face flush and get patchy and red. Idk i guess it just sucks to always be the sober one. I wanna be able to have fun. I drink only one drink when i go out or one glass of wine but i never really have to urge to drink like ppl around me. I’ve never been drunk. I’m afraid to get drunk and idk why. I guess some advice would be nice