I love liquor

Hello, i’m currently writing this post with a drink in my hand but these days I just don’t know how to handle myself im pushing 65 years old and am absolutely miserable from sunrise to sunset, i hate my wife and my daughter wont talk to me anymore and she wont even let me see my grandson. My son in law has had to throw me out of their home many times. For context i am extremely unhappy in my life with my wife, most of the time i’m throwing her around our home and multiple times she has tried to get me arrested, but I always get out of it! My mornings consist of at least half a bottle of liquor and on the weekends I get up early just to drink until I black out. The other day I got black out drunk on a Saturday and tried to go forcefully visit my grandson and ended up with my car right through their garage door and “woke up” to them screaming at me. Even after that I still have no urge to stop pulling out the cork and slugging away. Last night I was walking by my wife as she was standing at the top of the stairs and just pushed her down them for no reason. I don’t have any want for her around me anymore and don’t want to stop getting drunk as an irishman every time I open my eyes. What should I do!? I don’t want to stop drinking it’s the only thing I love.