I was already addicted to weed but life is so bad I’m swapping everything for alcohol

I have no idea if this is the subredit for this, but for the past three-four months I’ve been or drinking every day or doing kratom everyday, I just don’t want to spend a day just smoking weed and nothing else.

Life feels so painful, every choice I’ve made feels so painful, feeling who I am, somehow, also feels so painful. I don’t even want to drink, I’d rather just do kratom every day but I can’t because then I feel I will obviously get hooked up to kratom which is not a good idea whatsoever, so then I stop, and then I drink. There is no way around it, I can’t experience my own existance without knowing I’m going to use a drug sooner or later, weed doesn’t even cut it anymore, it doesn’t get me “high” enough

Like if you have vodka you can always drink more until you fall asleep. Even with kratom, at least with my very low tolerance, you can do more until you are basically sedated. Weed doesnt work the same I have too much tolarence and it just doesn’t work anymore, thinking is too painful to just go through it, I always find an excuse to drink or buy some kratom, at least for the last 3-4 months.

I know I’m getting into trouble, it’s extremely obvious but anyways I can’t stop, I literally can’t, once thing or the other but I just can’t deal with my life, knowing who I am and knowing what I’ve done and what I’ve done to myself, too much. I can’t.

I’m drunk currently so I have no idea whether this follows the rules or not, if it does, I guess thank you if you are reading. If it doesn’t then I’m sorry lol. Have a good day to whoever reading.