feeling down

i was 51 days sober today after poisoning myself a couple months ago and starting withdrawals that put me in the er twice in less than 2 days. today i went on a first date and i had a great time, but i decided to have a few drinks. over the course of an almost 7 hour date, i had 4 drinks. i used to average 8-10 a night. i tried to pace myself and just have fun, but i feel guilty. i’m only 24, i should be allowed to have fun sometimes, right? please tell me i shouldn’t count this as a failure. i want to keep doing better for myself and i want to be proud of myself for pacing it tonight. im just laying in bed, tipsy after a great night, and beating the hell out of myself for having fun.