Drinking after treatment

As the title says, I wanted to start a conversation about drinking after treatment and gather opinions.

As a bit of context: I’ve drank pretty regularly since a young age, regular teenage stuff – Bottle of vodka here, couple beers there, which quickly spiralled into drinking daily. Then it was hourly, as in – waking up to drink, drinking to get through the day, and drinking when I get home from work. It led to heavier and heavier drinking, which damaged me mentally, physically, and emotionally. It got to the point I could not control my alcohol intake, my actions or dependency on it. I was trapped in a vicious cycle that just led to more and more use.

Flash forward a bit, I had a pretty rough time (alcohol induced) which led me to check myself into treatment for awhile to kick the habit. While I’ve been there it’s led to a lot of self learning and examining of what made me drink, the consequences and physical, and mental aspects of addiction and reliance on substances. However it doesn’t really teach us anything about moderation, or responsible use. It mainly teaches the obvious: to avoid it at all costs, it will always be as bad as previously was, and so on.

As a side note this is my first time going to treatment for any reason.

I wanted to gather opinions and thoughts about returning to alcohol.

I would love to be able to have a drink and get a little tipsy, enjoy a cold cocktail on a hot day, reward myself with a beer after mowing the lawn. I’m gripped by two drastically different schools of thought:

A. You had a problem with alcohol and couldn’t control it at any point. You wrecked your personal and professional life because you couldn’t get a grip on your addiction and reliance to alcohol at all. Why would you start that cycle all over again if it’s going to lead to the same issue?

And B. You’ve been separated from it for so long that you’ve proven to yourself that you can get a handle on it. If worst comes to worst you have the ability and bravery to admit you have a problem and seek and obtain help with it, so why not?