I think it’s time to quit alcohol forever , male 29

29 year old male who’s has issues with alcohol in the past. I’ve had a couple of big scares where my drinking led me to dangerous binges for 4/5 days and my parents having to rescu me. I go long stints without drinking always feel I’m the issue and want to feel “ normal “. I don’t want people to make a huge fuss about me not drinking etc

I attended a family party on Saturday and it was the first time in months I decided to have a drink. I’m fine until 4/5 drinks in and that’s when I can’t stop. One beer every 5 minutes until I become really rude and nasty to the ones I love.

I have tried moderating but honestly think I can’t. Pretty scared I’ll lose the ones close to me if I don’t quite.

Has anyone else chose to go sober in their 20’s?