My problem

I’ve come here and talked about my problem before but i feel like since that post the urge to slow down has increased but the ability to do so is far behind.. Last night on sunday slammed 8 beers and half a bottle of Cptn Private label woke up hung like bojack and made a mental note while at work that i was only gonna drink a tall boy since i’ve heard of the horrors of cold turkey well now im sitting here 6 tall boys in and im just thinking what the fuck i did wrong i’m only 21 been heavy drinking for the last 2ish years or so i’ve put on 40 ibs. I struggled a lot of a kid with mental health my dad went to prison and my mom abandoned us at the same time both my parents were alcoholics my uncle is my cousins are its definitely a genetic thing and i just don’t know where to start i feel like at this point i can barley sleep without a drink sometimes ill get right up until bed and have to get up and slam 3-4 shots just to sleep and i think im starting to get withdrawals right around 11-12pm i start getting cold sweats and super anxious none the less i’ve struggled with anxiety since as long as i know but this feels different. Im sweating and cold up until my gf finally goes to bed so i can have a drink. She’s aware of the issue but i don’t think she knows it’s affecting me this much. I hate asking for help and admitting defeat. I’m just looking for away to stop drinking so much during the week days if i go hard on the weekends with my buddies i feel like that’s not bad but sitting alone on the couch slamming a 12 pack and half a bottle a night is depressing and definitely an issue. I’m sorry if i worded this poorly unfortunately i’m not drunk enough to be confident enough about this