PLEASE can someone help me. I need help and advice. ANY is appreciated. I am struggling with alcohol.

I wanna ask you guys something, why does drinking alcohol enhance genius to me so much? (And that’s the real title not the click bait title I had to put up cause millions of people post on this hoe everyday). But why does alcohol do it?

Whenever I drink alcohol it genuinely enhances my ability to do 99% of things. I become a smarter human, a faster thinker, a more motivated human . Whenever I drink I actually want to do good things with my life and progress my life in beautiful ways. I’ve always naturally been quite an intelligent and creative person, but at the same time I’ve always had everything done by my family, which in turn has unfortunately made me very lazy. Whenever I am sober, 99% of the time I’m just sat in my bedroom scrolling through my phone in my room, in the back of my head wanting to do something good with my life, but never having any real want or motivation to make it happen? But the second I get a few alcoholic drinks down me, I immediately start to want to tidy my room, contact people in creative fields to try and make a good opportunity happen, and just in general I become a more useful human .

Now I’m posting this now because I’ve had a few drinks. If I hadn’t had a few drinks right now, I wouldn’t have been able to string the words together exactly how I’d like too. It’s such a shame that I can’t perform to the best of my creative and intellectual abilities when I’m sober.. but it’s been the case for a long time now. Can anyone give me any suggestions about how I play things out from here please? I really want to move out of my families house to live with my friends (get a house share together?) but I’d genuinely only be able to make the magic happen if I was drunk. I want a fresh start, but without the drink I don’t know what to do.

Any advice (and resonance with my situation) right now would be very helpful. I’m in an extremely confusing and difficult situation right now, and I just need some advice.

Thank you