Drinking too much. Maybe?

I’m a “recovering” alcoholic. I went 3.5 months without drinking. I recently decided once or twice a week to drink and control it. When I “started” drinking again, I started out at 4 shots of the 99’s (high proof vodka shots in all different flavors) and I’m drinking right now. It went from 4-5 yesterday, now I’m drinking 8 shots. I feel like that’s enough. The only I feel that was is because my boyfriend isn’t here. I know as soon as he walks InThe door I’m gonna feel 10x
More drunk. Idk I’m just fucking up.. can someone PM me
Please :/