I got very drunk last night and felt normal.

I’m 14 right now. I’d never drank before, but last night something snapped and i went to the garage to get a bottle of rum (40% ABV, meaning it’s HARD alcohol).

Snuck back into the house, and as soon as i got to the room, i opened the bottle. Initially I hesitated. Is this really what I’d resort to? But i shoved those thoughts down and went through with drinking 2-3 sips at once.

First thought? It BURNS.

I didn’t stop though. One after another, I kept drinking sips until I’d drank a quarter of the bottle (around 225 ml?). That is when I stopped because I realized I’d given myself way too much leeway.

I was expecting to feel… numb and just unable to move or something but it was the complete opposite. In about 10 minutes I couldn’t stop laughing my ass off. I kept moving around the room to the point i gave myself a bruise by getting hit by a corner.

I knew what was happening was bad. That this shouldn’t be the life I want.

But I’ll be honest. It was the happiest I’d felt in a very long time. I can recall not being able to think about all the problems i have and how miserable I usually am. That… is tempting me to drink again.

It’s ironic. I used to judge drunkards, drug addicts, or people who use these vile substances. But now I understand.

Be empathetic towards everyone. You never know what got them into the situation they’re in.

I’m only 14, but I feel like drinking again. Is once in a while alright? When things get too rough?