I messed up big time

So it’s 7am i couldn’t sleep I took my meds because I have psychosis after staying up for this long and before that i made a vow to God that I won’t drink and last time I did drink was a month ago my God hell destroy me now I’m a Muslim first I can’t drink second a vow is a huge sin if you break it I ended up going to grocery shop buying alcohol and now I’m struggling to walk I’m taking big gulps of of absolute vodka