Help I’m dumb, ex-mo, and a freak of nature. I need help understanding what getting drunk is.

23 yr/o pre-T trans Male

I come from a very religious family who doesn’t drink. No one I’ve ever known has ever drunk; to the point that the concept of bars is about as real as Madagascar (I knew Madagascar was a real place, and I could go there, but I never would, and it has so little affect on my life that it might as well be fictional).

Well… I drink now. And things are kinda weird.

I weigh 110 pounds and haven’t been able to gain weight a lick in my life. (It’s really annoying when I’m trying to bulk). I’m not dumb, I know that people respond to alcohol based on their body mass. I’m AFAB, and I also know that my biology also doesn’t give me help, since women respond faster to alcohol. I thought I got an education going into this; I did so much research (and talked to what few friends I have who drink) before getting started.

My first drink was a rum and coke with equal parts mixed Coca-Cola and Black Heart Spiced 93 proof rum. My wife had the same drink, and halfway through finishing it, she started to get a little giggly. I was excited to join her, and realized I wasn’t feeling anything yet. No biggie! The difference between half a drink and a full drink isn’t much, so I decided to finish my drink before testing things.

I felt nothing…

I was weirded out, because my wife was getting pink in the face, but I looked the same and felt no different. Well I wanted to actually get drunk, so I asked my friend to make me a second rum and coke.

It got to the point where I started taking straight shots of rum. It was starting to freak me out that nothing was happening to me, especially when I tried so hard to finally “get drunk” after years of being told not to.

To cut things short, it took me about 6 shots of 93 proof Blackheart rum to get flushed, confident, and to feel any notable difference to what I feel normally. Even my friend who drinks was wobbling weird (he took many of the shots with me), but I could walk in a straight line across the room no problem.

Don’t get me wrong! I get drunk! It’s possible for me to get drunk! But after a few more tries since then, I’m realizing that my tolerance is higher than everyone else that I know (I need about 6-8 drinks to feel tipsy, and I haven’t pushed it beyond that because I don’t want to be unsafe). I don’t know why I’m like this. I finally reached a weight goal that I’ve been working on for two and a half years (120 lbs) but that’s still NOTHING!

I guess I just need advice in four places…

Does anyone have any idea what is giving me such a high tolerance?

I’m not on testosterone yet, I’m a red-head, but I do have a high metabolism (I just didn’t think it was THAT high).

What are the recommended safety parameters for my situation?

Most of what I used to know about the “dangers of alcohol” is what it made people “do”. I don’t “do” anything, I don’t puke, I don’t pass out, my hangovers are super light, and I really can’t tell whenever I’ve “had too much”. I feel like I have a higher risk of alcohol poisoning because I can’t “feel” things, but I have a light body. Any responses to this concern or ideas on how I could track my drinking?

If I do want to get drunk, to a heavier point than I have, is there a safe way for me to do it?

Is having a little bit of stronger alcohol at a single time more effective? Or is something like that a bad idea?

Is this more normal than I think it is?

My religious background might mean that I’ve only heard the “worst parts” or most drunk people have ever gotten. It’s possible that I just don’t THINK I’m getting drunk because the people in my life have “talked it up” by trying to talk it down. Maybe I’m more normal than I think and just need a basic run down of what to ACTUALLY expect when drinking or trying to get drunk.

Thank you for any help, I’m new to reddit, and honestly can’t imagine anyone taking the time to help me figure this out. Any perspectives or comments would mean the world to this bar-life shut-in.