How much of each type of alcohol can you drink (safely) in a sitting?

I’m not a drinker (I’m 16), but I have been curious about how much you can *actually* drink as well as wanting to educate myself about alcohol safety in general. I’ve read about ‘standard drinks’ and units, but it didn’t really mean very much to me?

I understand that alcohols generally fall under four-ish categories: Beer, Wine, Liqueurs (essentially spirits, just sweetened with other things) and Spirits (rum, brandy, whiskey, vodka) in ascending order of alcohol concentration.

So how do we actually measure how much we drink/standardize it? And how much of each kind of alcohol could you really drink in one sitting without dying or getting alcohol poisoning? (ie, if you and a friend snuck into your parents’ wine cellar or whatever)