I feel like death. The harsh lights in this office are piercing my skull. It feels like a dagger ripping through the space between my eyes into my frontal lobe. What’s worse is that a new girl who is super cute has started working this week and I fear I’m making a poor first impression. Having to play it cool while in this state is no small feat. I can still taste the whiskey and Mountain Dew from last night. Damnit.