Why do I keep going?

I’m a reasonably fit woman in my early 30’s. I’ve had some big stressors lately with moving to another country and finding my feet.

When I drink in public with friends I hold it together. Just the one or two drinks, three if it’s a late night and the conversation is good. However, sometimes when I cook a complicated recipe at home I will open a bottle of wine and then just keep drinking it. It tastes great. The music is good. I’m enjoying the task at hand and then all the sudden I am just so uncomfortably drunk. I don’t like being drunk. I hate the spinning feeling and I hate feeling like an idiot for having drunk most of a bottle of wine and gotten to the point where I can’t even really taste the meal I worked so hard on.

This happens maybe once every 4 months. Why do I do this!!?! How do I stop? I like a glass of wine while cooking. How do I just keep it to the one!? I feel like I should just give up drinking while cooking. It’s a bad habit anyway. Most of the time I can keep it to one drink while I cook… but every now and then this happens… am I stressed or worried? Probably. Am I lonely. Yes. Maybe I’m trying to cover some loneliness. I work from home and my partner is in the office all day, then he comes home and does chores/errands. I’m pretty lonely on any given day…

Any tips on a better habit to build so that I don’t reach for the second glass of wine?

TLDR: I cooked an amazing meal last night and drank a whole bottle of wine while doing it. I felt sick and couldn’t sit down comfortably and eventually barfed it up. I’m embarrassed and disappointed in myself.