what to do instead of drinking alcohol when depressed?.

sorry if this is hard to read im really bad at writing.

ive been depressed for as long as i can remember. i don’t really remember ever feeling anything, always felt empty. but it’s been so much worse for at least the last 7 years – feeling really sad and hopeless and depressed and it’s not changed since. but especially last year & last couple months it’s just getting even worse. feels like I’m getting getting worse and more depressed every single year. but this and last year im more depressed than ever. feeling more and more depressed and hopeless.

everytime I feel sad or depressed or empty. which is every single day. I just want to drink. just drink until i pass out.

since my birthday last September (turned 18 then). ive been drinking pretty much (almost) every night (not every single night, but at least few times a week, every week).

Its the only thing that somewhat helps. not much because also i never really feel any better when drinking?. I never really feel anything. i just end up blacking out or passing out or being sick. but it helps somewhat. it’s the only thing that at least helps a bit. tired doing something else as a distraction, even if playing video games or doing anything else. my mind doesn’t stop thinking about how depressed and what ever issues are bothering me. the only way to stop my mind is by drinking. the only way to feel somewhat okay is by drinking.

nothing else helps.

are there other ways to distract yourself that aren’t by getting drunk almost every night?. yes ive tried therapy for months and it didn’t help. nothing helps.