I feel ashamed and scared when I think of my past

I used to drink too much, I went through a period I drank too much. It went to 70 units per week, but then I knew I was becoming a Dad and made changes, now I drink once a week. I don’t know why I did it for so long, it was a two year period and I generally never realized how much damage alcohol does, so I got scared. Now there’s no way of be able to do that again, mainly because

I don’t want too I have to be up with my kids regularly and feel that’s way more important

I think of it and have panic/fear and cannot forgive myself. I should see that as a good sign, rather than a bad one.

I just shame myself, I don’t just live with myself and my faults