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Scared of drinking despite wanting to

I’m a 19yr old Australian Male who has never had a single sip of alcohol in my life despite wanting to.

I would love to be able to when I’m out with friends, have just ONE drink, or at this point, one sip of a friends drink when they offer. But I am scared of consuming any alcohol. I guess my fear lies within any affect it may have. I’m not scared of the substance, I work as a bartender and am surrounded by friends and family that drink. Some more than others but they have never become abusive from it.

I plan to move abroad in 6 months and I am scared that even one drink every few weeks is going to leave a permanent taint on my brain or something. As stupid as it sounds, I fear that even the small amount of drinking mentioned is going to leave me dumber permanently and ruin travel for me.

I enjoy going to gym and staying in shape. Nothing crazy but decently healthy. I am scared that even the small amount of drinking will just make me permanently less healthy and unable to maintain my health as it is now. I see all these articles that state the same “No amount of alcohol is good for you and may have permanent effects”.

I feel like having one drink is going to be like getting a tattoo. Leaving a mark I can’t get rid of as stupid as it sounds. But I would love to enjoy a single drink with friends or family, one a fortnight at most. I think I also fear the regret that may follow after having a drink, like I let myself down or something despite wanting to drink.

TLDR: I am scared crazy that a single drink is going to leave me with lifelong health problems. I would love to be able to have a drink when out with friends or family.

Any advice would be appreciated. Cheers

Edit: I’m not scared of alcohol itself. I work as a bartender and have friends and family that drink at various levels. This is a throwaway account, I have friends I want to hide this from.

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