Tasting Report: The Energy Drinks of Alani Nu

Alani Nu, arriving as it does in cans the colors and designs of Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers, is merely the latest entrant in a tradition stretching back through the patent-medicine wagons of the nineteenth century to the “vitamin tonics” hawked on AM radio in the 1950s. However, what distinguishes Alani Nu isn’t the formula of caffeine and the usual alchemical promises of “focus” and “energy”, but its audience. The genius of its marketing lies in its familiarity with the youth demographic, resplendent in all of its Gen Z technicolor vigor, and its ability to hit some flavors right on the mark with uncanny accuracy. We tried nearly every available flavor on the market, including two new seasonal releases, for this report.

Alani Nu Cherry Slush – A bit of a one-note deal, but what a note it is. Of all the Alanii (Alanis?) sampled for this review, this comes the closest to an actual slush straight from a summer childhood. Put it over ice or serve cold, and it’s wholly reminiscent of the melted syrup and ice combo at the bottom of a large cherry Slurpee, absent the brain freeze. One of the best of the cohort currently on offer. A-

Alani Nu Sherbet Swirl – A blend of orange, raspberry and lime, which also happens to be the order in which each arrives and departs. The balance is correct between sweet and savory, forgoing the threat of becoming excessively cloying, while also invoking a slightly creamy finish. This was another dangerously drinkable one, and if the caffeine content wouldn’t send me shooting through the roof like a cartoon Coyote on a rocket, an additional can wouldn’t be out of the question and awfully tempting. A-

Alani Nu Voodoo Vanilla – One of three seasonal items for Autumn 2026 and the first for Alani’s Elixir series, this is an 8-ounce sipper with lower caffeine levels meant to be mixed with another drink of your choice as part of the dirty soda trend. I can attest that this works well with some (Witch’s Brew, Cherry Slush) more than others. However, the vanilla and marshmallow running throughout make it drinkable as a standalone. B+

Alani Nu Witch’s Brew – Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn and caldron bubble: the second of the three (we did not receive the third, Ruby Apple) makes its return to the stage for 2026, and it is definitely green caramel apple. It is very heavy on the caramel part of the program but mercifully recedes during the final act, as the green apple takes over with a surprising touch of lemon zest making a cameo. Which is certainly an improvement over wool of bat, tongue of dog, eye of newt or toe of frog. B+

Alani Nu Orange Kiss – Most Alanii sprint straight to dessert-tier sweetness and never look back. This one laces up its sour shoes and jogs in the other direction, landing on a citrus flavor resembling citrus instead of a chemistry lab’s idea of it. The result tastes uncannily like orange soda. Or “pop,” for anyone raised correctly, in the parts of the country where language still makes sense and nobody’s out here calling it “soda” like a degenerate. B+

Alani Nu Blue Slush – Classic gas station Blue Icee and shockingly accurate despite the fact there is an absence of sugar. Somehow Alani gets the formula spot on for almost all of their Slush variations (more on that below). So if that excessive blue raspberry onslaught isn’t your thing, it may be better to sit this one out. However, this satisfies that childhood cravings effectively. B+

Alani Nu Cosmic Stardust – This one is a bit of a mystery. One minute it’s grape soda bordering on Dimetapp, the next sip it’s a mouthful of Skittles. I can’t fully confirm either, but what I can confirm is that there may be a segment of the population that would find this flavor appealing, and I get that. But I am not one of them. Not the worst of the batch but needs a bit of retooling to be a top-tier choice. Adding some mixer elixir helps. B

Alani Nu Juicy Peach – Quite syrupy and unctuous up front. However, as it simmers down toward the end, the lingering peach mellows and resembles peach nectar. Good in small doses, but after a while the whole affair just coats the mouth excessively. B

Alani Nu Watermelon Wave – After drinking several different offerings that verge on cloying, this presents as surprisingly light. It doesn’t evoke watermelon Jolly Rancher as anticipated, but presents more like a watermelon spritz mocktail. In fact, this
would function well as a mixer, with or without the alcohol, if drinks by the pool are the order of the day. B

Alani Nu Cherry Twist – The twist here is that it is a cherry-lime hybrid. But the real twist is how much it resembles cough medicine. The cherry dominates throughout, leaving no room for the lime to even really cut through. It’s not wholly unpleasant, as it does eventually settle down on the finish, but it’s quite a big challenge to overcome. Unless using this as a mixer, skip and proceed to Cherry Slush instead. C

Alani Nu Pink Slush – A merciless onslaught of strawberry bubble gum and cotton candy at first, with a cream soda finish preventing it from being fully undrinkable. Unlike others, this leans in too hard on the candy store heaviness. Some retooling to stand with its Blue and Cherry Siblings is not out of the question. C-

$23 per 12-pack of 12 oz cans [BUY THEM NOW FROM AMAZON]

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