Trying alcohol for the first time

I had a bad relationship with alcohol growing up. My mother was drunk a few times and I ended up in unsafe conditions. When my friends would sneak alcohol growing up I would never partake. Almost like I was afraid of my own personality or becoming my mother or something. My 21st passed a few weeks ago. Nothing special, just friends and a bad movie. I was coming home one day recently and stopped at the grocery store and decided to try a craft beer because it had been a long day. I figured I’d be better off trying alcohol in the safety of my own home than a bar or something. As of posting this I have had one last night and 2 tonight. I’m almost looking at this scientifically to see what happens. The floaty feeling I have is honestly unpleasant to me. For the moment I can think clearly but I don’t know if that would last. My motor control is not as precise as it usually is and I feel warm. The best part about it was the flavor of this one raspberry ale I liked. I doubt I will ever partake the way many of my generation do, but I digress.

I don’t know why I’m typing this out. I feel like I need to tell someone but I don’t want my friends to look at me differently after being the friend who rejected it after all these years. Thanks for listening, strangers.