Moved into an anti-alcohol household, it’s not serving me well

So, I (21F) became an alcoholic at 20. It was most likely due to too many gas stations in my area not taking ID’s, and a genetic predisposition to addiction. Both of my biological parents died to addiction, and now both of my 2nd set of adoptive parents are alcoholics. It’s probably left a mark, but regardless.

I’m 21 now, and I’ve had a hard year regardless of myself. I’m 3 years into a college degree, was forced to leave due to low loan offers, and due to my parents neglect became homeless in April of 2026. I was able to move in tentatively with my older brother, who I have a terrible relationship with, and spent 2 1/2 months drifting between whoever would take me. I did a lot of drinking in this time- As I had a room to “myself” in his house, and friends who would take me in and drink with me over my circumstances.

I wasn’t willing to end up staying that way, and I eventually ended up with a surprisingly incredible job that felt WAY above my ability, which offered to pay for the rest of my college tuition. I got the job.

This meant I needed to live several hours away, which worked because I have a long distance boyfriend I’ve had for 4 years since highschool, who works for this same University and lived only 40 minutes away. I moved in with him at the peak of my alcoholism, and I’m struggling.

His family is very Christian and VERY sober. I drank a drink in front of them after 2 weeks at my new job for celebration, and they were down with it, but a bottle of champagne once a year is tops for them. My boyfriend doesn’t understand the appeal of alcohol or getting drunk because we were raised TOTALLY differently.

I have been hiding booze from them for a month, waiting for him to leave for night shift and getting shitfaced before my shift, or daring to drink during the day secretly in the presence of his parents. I don’t think they would shame me to my face, but the gossip to the church would be a problem.

I just want to continue to be drunk, successful, and free. I used to go to university classes drunk, and made A’s in every class. That not why, obviously, but I enjoyed it. Now, I’m forced to be sober, and I’m annoyed and craving.

How do I face this? What do I do? Do I HAVE to be sober, or should I focus more time on saving money to get a dingy little apartment alone.