So I know I look 10 years younger and such a clear head when I don’t drink, why do I do it??

Going through a very hard separation/divorce, and I know I do it to cope, but I also know I seriously I am mentally better, cope better, look younger and everything shrinks when I don’t drink. How do I prioritise this over the feelings of drinking and forgetting? It’s important to me to feel and look good, so why does my brain not get it??