HELP ME WITH DECISION.

Hi I am new to alcohol, I am drinking 4 to 5 times a month.

I drink because of MENTAL PAIN, BOREDOM, LONELYNESS.

Why pain – I am havina a urine bladder issue since last 3 years and it is not getting fixed. due to that I am dealing with lonelyness, immence mental pain and boredom.

I “have a fear” that my current condition will make me a alcohol addict.

BUT, I enjoyed alcohol in past with friends and while watching a movie and having a tasty food so I am having a decision problem i.e.,

do i continue drinking alcohol? if i do, how do I do it responsibally and not get addict in long run?

OR

I leave the alcohol completely.

(MY GRANDFATHER WAS AN ALCOHOL ADDICT AND DID DISTROYED HIS LIFE AND CARRIER – “”HE HAD HIS OWN REASONS FOR HIS PAIN””)

(MY LIFE IS ALSO NOT SO GOOD I DONT HAVE MOHTER AND MY FATHER KILLED BY MOTHER WHEN I WAS 6 AND NOW I AM 28 LAST YEAR MY FATHER GOT OUT OF JAIL, AND MY MOTHER SIDE GRAND PARENT TOOK CARE OF MY BUT I CAN NOT SHARE THE PAIN WITH THEM THE RELATION IS NOT LIKE THAT)

So, I want your suggestion do I continue drinking and if I continue how can I enjoy alcohol and not the alcohol distroy me in long run. Kindly help.