I have a strong desire to break into the family liquor cabinet

I’m 18f and my whole life has been a train wreck and I don’t even feel like my body belongs to me anymore, I haven’t drank before but I recently found where my parents keep the key to the liquor cabinet and now it’s all I think about. I just want to drown the pain and usually I resort to weed but I haven’t been able to get any lately. Can someone please convince me not to do anything stupid