Struggling

Hi, I feel really alone. I am struggling with mental health. Trying to stop drinking alcohol because it gives me a euphoric feeling for a moment, but then as soon as it wears off I feel guilt, anxiety and panic. When I’ve stopped drinking the 2 glasses of wine I allow myself at night, I feel lethargic, unmotivated and not wanting to do anything. My fear is I’m more motivated and productive when I allow myself to have a couple drinks at night. I know it’s not healthy physically, but it feels healthy mentally. Would love some feedback.