Am I dancing with addiction?

I’ve kind of drinking almost every night the past week. I think yesterday and maybe another day this week I didn’t. I don’t know how much I’m really drinking. Not enough to get blackout but definitely enough to get drunk. I go after mainly high ABV drinks. I mainly drink beatboxes, because they taste good.

I’ve kind of been drinking mainly because I’ve been depressed and they make me feel better, and I’d rather do weed, but can’t right now. I’m looking for a new job and even though I live in a state where it’s legal jobs will still not hire you if you have THC in your system. I can’t stand being sober though.

My anxiety is too much for me. I can’t even sleep through a night completely, because I think I can’t breath or I believe the melatonin I took to go to sleep is killing me and I’m having an allergic reaction. The only thing that seems to help me is drinking or doing weed.