How to get started on the first drink

Tldr: I like getting drunk but it is hard for me to go through the first few drinks (I don’t like the sensation of getting drunk when I’m sober & the taste) how can I enjoy

I want to get drunk tonight, but the first few shots are always so difficult for me. I always enjoy drinking soon as I get drunk, but most times my sober mind cannot stand the smell and taste of alcohol and somehow the idea of drinking alcohol gives me anxiety so I end up not drinking.

My friends are planning to drink a hell lot and have a fun night tonight, but I’m scared to go through the first few drinks. I know I’m going to forget about my anxieties and shit and have a fun time once I’m drunk but for now I just don’t want to drink. I want to get drunk but without drinking. Any tips? I really want to enjoy this night.