$19 Margaritas

Man, this summer I was stupid as hell. No need to repeat it. Shit I know. I had some money to blow and found out we had a bowling alley and it’s low key a night club. They be turnt!!!

Man…I like casamigos 😔😔😔. Gahhhdamn. A little ass Margarita in an 8 ounce cup was $19!! Never again!! I promise!! Dammmm!! I just wanted to have fun.

I never go anywhere! I’ve been in wrong place. Wrong times more than once and had men try to jump me and tell me they wanted to unalice me and guns. Small town. I developed horrible horrible paranoia. It’s not funny. My room is a fucking prison. It makes me wanna vomit. It’s really agoraphobia. For years I never left the house. If I did it was 3 blocks to grocery store and I was always looking around and had something with me just in case. Always afraid somebody wanna put holes in me.

That paranoia lives in me. So I had fun and I was scared. So many people there. Enemies. People that knew people who knew people who threthened me. Casamigos made me not care. But I’m so serious. Ain’t enough therapy or medication for paranoia. It’s not cure. It’s mind thing.

I’ve seen a barrel too many times. My stomach hurts thinking about it. It was all males. I’m a tiny female. I just wanted to be numb forever and never feel anything at all.