Idk why but I’ve been getting this indescribable rage when I’m drinking lately and I’ve started to punch things to the point of breaking bones

Don’t know why Anyone ever felt the same way? Is this a bad sign I mean I know obviously it is bad but like I don’t know what to do I can’t seem to stop Found a little bit of wine my mum left in the lounge room had some and afterwards I couldn’t help but go and buy more I drank heaps two days ago and drink called my bf crying I remember NOTHING of what I said and I’m so fucking embarrassed He hasn’t texted me all day And I’m so scared that I’m going to do it again without control I think I may of broke my hand because I punched a fucking brick wall I don’t know what the fuck to do And I’m home alone for the next couple days