I tell myself that I’m either very responsible or very un responsible

I’m 25 and I have a few mental things to conquer. A little backstory is that I drink alcohol too often but sometimes go like 3 days without it and when I stop, I wake up early, make healthy food, go to the gym and at the end of the day just responsible behavior.

I like to use alcohol to make me socialize but I am reserved sober so it all seems to crazy when I’m drunk making friends with everyone. I think that something has to happen in my life to crate a big change so I’m currently just waiting for a job in the army and I’ll leave soon.

Just venting I don’t know if anyone will even see this but good bless and I’m ready for this.

Ps. I’ll also hopefully quit nicotine at boot camp for good.