Drink

Hello, my mother was an alcoholic and very shirty towards us all, been fostered for a ling time and they’re my real family. Sadly, my mothers genes followed me and from a young age I’ve drank to much. My question is this, why do I feel so completely ready to take on the world when drunk, I could do anything but I don’t. It’s so frustrating as I’ve climbed my way form homelessness to happy with a place and good relationship, why do I still day dream of more ?