Drinking while working?

I know this is going to sound insane, but please hear me out and do not jump to conclusions, or atleast consider what I am saying before you do.

I am neurodivergent. I have tourettes and I grew up with vocal and physical tics. My physical tics are gone for the most part and I rarely tic verbally.

I have been diagnosed ADHD and OCD.

I work a very technical job where I assist people over the phones and the calls can sometimes go up to 3 hours. I dont know if I am an alcoholic, as in, I ONLY drink for work and I do not drink for fun or on the weekends. I see drinking as more of a labor because I don’t enjoy it much and I do not like the after effects and I am obsessive over health where I can be.

I will drink 4-5 shots of vodka before starting work and a few shots throughout the work day. I never let myself drink more than a half pint the entire day, and usually only drink about half of that.

When I do this I feel very professional and on-point, my work reviews are excellent and I score between 95-100% on each one. However, towards the end of the work day I am less confident and less efficient.

When I don’t drink at all I feel stupid and slow, I talk too fast and I forget important information. Also, I do not get as good reviews for my work. I am not withdrawaling because even if I haven’t drank in several months this still applies.

I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this or if anyone has any information/advice on this specific topic?

Also, I was prescribed Klonopin for over a decade starting when I was 15 years old, I think this may have something to do with it.

I’m pretty sure this is not sustainable and I do not want to drink, but it literally makes me a better worker.