confession?

I’m a 22 yr old male and i cant stop drinking. the thing is though, when i drink, i don’t do it to get sloppy drunk. every morning when i wake up i’ll be okay for about 10 seconds and then something clicks in my head like “you are supposed to be anxious” and thats where it starts. i only take a couple shots to ease whatever it is. i don’t even know what i’m so anxious about. the only thing that makes me feel better is the feeling of knowing alcohol will make it better. so i drink. i start getting cold sweats and my heart starts racing super bad. my stomach starts twisting like crazy, its like i have butterflies x1000. i toss and turn in bed and i cant go back to sleep. i’m sober while typing this, so please don’t interpret this the wrong way mods. i just want to know if there is anyone out there thats experienced the same type of thing i’m experiencing, everyone i talk to just makes me feel like i’m crazy. i hate myself for not being able to control it because i know its a problem that i struggle with, but am i truly a bad person?