I was in an elevator

Today, I was in an elevator with two strangers. Suddenly, the elevator got stuck between floors, and we started waiting for the maintenance worker. The night before, I had eaten spicy chili con carne and washed it down with a crate of beer. My intestines began to protest this feast and the drinking. I carefully released a silent hiss of a fart, which gradually started to fill the elevator with a strong, pungent smell. The other two people clearly began shifting uncomfortably, and I could hear them cautiously sniffing the air.

After a moment, I felt a cramp in my stomach, and a hot wave spread through my intestines, signaling just one thing: diarrhea was coming. I tried with all my might to hold it back and prayed that the maintenance worker would come immediately. My condition became unbearable, and beads of sweat started forming on my face. The pressure in my gut increased, and I fought it with everything I had. Finally, I couldn’t control the situation anymore, so I pulled down my pants and unleashed the diarrhea of the century, accompanied by an enormous fart.

The first spray hit the back wall of the elevator, and the second one ran down my legs and onto the floor, completely covering it. The smell was strong, a distinct stench of well-fermented diarrhea. The woman in the elevator started screaming in horror, while the man let out a roar and began swearing with words I’d never heard before. More diarrhea splattered from my rear, and soon the entire elevator was coated in feces. The woman fainted on the floor, and the man vomited up what was presumably his just-eaten lunch. Overall, the smell in the elevator was indescribable.

Just then, the maintenance worker arrived, cracking the door open, only to turn away as the stench of diarrhea and vomit wafted through the gap. Fire department smoke divers had to be called in to rescue us from the elevator. The woman had to be taken to the emergency room due to fainting, and the man threatened to sue me, but eventually left, cursing even more. For the rest of the day, I’ve stayed home just to be safe. Luckily, I still had some beer and leftovers from yesterday.