Partner is considering drinking again (history of addiction)

Hi everyone 🙂 not quite sure where to post this but hoping someone may have some advice for me. My husband is an alcoholic (currently sober) and is considering drinking again. Brief background for context:

I’m 28, he’s 38 – been together 6 years We were both in recovery for different things (me getting sober was mostly for MH reasons but it worked so I used no substances/drinking for 4 years) About a year ago after much discussion and support from my therapist I decided to start drinking again (alcohol was not a problem for me so it wasn’t a big choice for me) At the same time he decided to try it too – he had been thinking about it for a while and thought he was ready It turned out fine for me – I have some one a few times a week and it’s been fine since When he tried it he ended up going overboard and we both cried the next day as he realised he cannot be a social drinker He had relapsed once previously in our relationship but before trying drinking again he had been sober for 3 years

Recently he has spoken about considering drinking again. My questions are:

I’ve told him it wouldn’t be my first choice for him but that he is his own person and must decide for himself (previously I struggled with severe codependency trying to make sure he wouldn’t drink so I’ve had to work really hard to separate me drinking and him not – should I be feeling so guilty every time I drink around him (I always feel this really heavy guilt because I know he wants to

I’ve asked many times if he’d prefer I didn’t in front of him and he says no, he actually wants me to and likes to see me be able to wind down with a glass of wine at dinner – how do I stop doubting his answer?

How do I get rid of this sadness that he wants to drink but can’t (or isn’t currently) because the consequences are so big? He struggles severely with being social (always has) and I know one of the big reasons he wants to drink is to be able to “join in”/relax when his friends go for a beer

Is the only way to actually just not drink myself again and go back to that being the normal?

Yes I’m aware of the notion that him just wanting to be able to drink with friends/feels like he can’t without it is a very alcoholic thought pattern – but it is what it is

He’s said it would maybe help him live a more “normal” life/loosen up because all he really does is work and gym

Thank you in advance x