Never thought I’d get to this point

I’ve always been depressed but now i’m reaching the limit. I live with my best friend, but now they’re out hanging out with other people. I’m not invited to anything anymore and I was uninvited recently to a trip I was looking forward to. im losing my friends, alcohol is my getaway every weekend and i started smoking cigarettes. cigarettes were something i told myself id never do but here I am. it helps though, it really does.

Going out and hanging out with our group meant more to me than anything. I lvoed it and I was starting to come out of my comfort zone i think. i wasn’t getting anxiety as bad. now they all stay out until 3am doing god knows what and im just here playing games, watching movies. they don’t even talk to me anymore, other than the friend i live with but thats because its unavoidable. I didn’t do anything bad, they just all started hanging out without me. Everything was going fine and then poof. ghosted. They’re moving forward with their lives, i can’t blame them