Acute pancreatitis – first time

I (32f) have been in the hospital for the better part of fours days healing from alcohol-induced pancreatitis.

I’ve been an alcoholic for over a year, not using any other drugs, just booze. I drink a lot. High percent malt liquor and those little buzzball things and I’ll drink like 8 of them a night. I understand how I got here, what I don’t understand is how I’m going to survive without booze when I get out. They’ve obviously given me the Valium and Ativan etc while here to keep my jitters and anxiety down, the second I get out I’m going to want to drink more. But I also have mouths to feed and responsibilities and the thought of being taken out like that again, and having to go through that type of fucking pain again, is definitely a deterrent.

Has this happened to any of you? Is moderation key or is my pancreas just too fucked at this point to drink anything? I have no idea how I’m not going to pick up again. Advice please…