The More You Fuck Around

The more you find out.

Alcoholics need alcohol. They are dependent in a way that if they stop they can die. Occasional drinkers are probably fine (as in a few drinks once in a while). Binge drinkers are totally fucked.

Your body has to adjust itself to the things you present it. If you have too much testosterone, your estrogen goes up. The same is true for literally everything. Caffeine makes you feel less tired, so your body produces more “I’m tired receptors”. Introducing poison slowly over time makes you somewhat immune to it’s effects. At the same time when you take away that poison you will notice health complications.

Alcoholic Progress:

Day 1:

“I’m throwing up because I drank a ton of alcohol.”

6 Months:

“I have gastritis, I puke regardless of drinking.”

3 Years:

“I’m not digesting food because I’m not drinking, I have gestasis.” “When I do drink, I’m fine.” “I no longer get hangovers.”

6 Years:

“I shake when not drinking.” “I find myself in rooms not remembering how or why I went in them.” “I occasionally forget things like days or months.” Is it Sunday or Tuesday? Did I wake up late for work? “I sleep over 9 hours but feel exhausted and typically hallucinate while in bed.”

10 Years:

“I tried to quit drinking and started having seizures and palpitations.” “I have extreme memeroy loss, did I mention I have memory loss?”

Binge Drinkers:

Day 1:

“God, if you exist, I promise to devote myself to you if you save me.”

2 Months Later:

“I lied, there is no God, time for round two.”

4 Months Later (trip to ER):

“I’ll never do it again, I don’t want to die.”

6 Months Later:

Defer to 2 Months later, rince and repeat.

Occasional Drinkers:

Day 1: Sipppy poos on 2 fingers of scotch,

“let’s get these taxes done”.

Day 2: Sippy poos, dishes, laundry, clean the toilet.

Day 3:

“Let’s drink water and take a nap. Wake up. Clean the house, cook dinner.”

Day 4: All day 80s movie binge.

Day 200,000:

“Why does this boy keep calling me grandpa?”.