im anxious to drink for the first time

hello so I 18F, am going to actually drink tonight at my besties brothers graduation party! i am excited but also super nervous, She brought this party up a month ago and i as sooo excited up until this last week where i am feeling incredibly anxious. For some context about me, I am just an anxious person in general, i prefer to smoke bud but even that makes me a little paranoid sometimes & i very much have a filter and its pretty difficult to get a full conversation out of me due to my neurodivergent brain. Me and my bestie (19F) have been inseparable since 7th grade, shes always been my biggest supporter and basically the only friend i’ve ever had to understands boundaries and if i dont feel comfortable with something, she would NEVER peer pressure me to do it. its been like this for years until when a month ago she told me her brother was graduating from college & they were throwing a party for him, she wants this to be the first time i celebrate and actually have a drink with her, i said yes because I genuinely do want to try getting past tipsy at least once and i’ll be spending the night so I won’t have to worry about driving. MY BIGGEST FEAR is losing control of myself, im sure it is destined to happen when you get drunk but knowing me, all i want is control over myself, what if i say something im not supposed to?, do something incredibly stupid in front of her family?, what if i forget how to act???. Me and her have been to parties together before, Im more of a stoner & she is as well but definitely drinks too, unlike me. shes always offered me a drink or asks if i wanna get drunk with, my answer is always no haha but she understands anyway and we still have a good time, OH ALSO i have emetophobia (fear of thr*w u*) so anything to avoid getting sick or hungover would help! thank you for listening if u read this far