can’t stop drinking on antidepressants

hey everyone,

please do not judge me too much nor comment any mean stuff or insults, i know that what i’m doing is wrong!

so, about 4 months ago, i finally got diagnosed with social phobia and GAD (after suffering in silence for years). therefore, i started taking antidepressants as my psychiatrist suggested. obviously, he had told me not to drink alcohol. and at first, they worked perfectly as i didn’t even have a drop of wine! however, i feel like i have a problem now. it’s not that i have to drink everyday or 24/7, but when i start, it’s difficult for me to stop. there are so many little triggers, such as my friends talking about drinks or just seeing a bottle of alcohol 🙁 to be honest, i’ve been drinking quite a lot in the past few weeks and i feel so ashamed and terrible. i’m even writing this while drinking whiskey. of course, i’m aware of the fact that it is because alcohol is a depressant so my medication doesn’t really work anymore. but that’s not enough for me to stop. has anyone been in a similiar situation? what did you do to stop?