4 Months Soberaty gonzo

Made it 4 months sober after drinking pretty heavy i’ve been on here before talking about it. The first 2 weeks were horrible the withdrawals although not physical no shaking or anything just the pure mental hell was horrible worst anxiety i’ve ever dealt with in my entire life was doing good had some health issues gallbladder said i’m out and got taken out was on a bunch of meds so didn’t even wanna take chance and drink and actually die. About 2 weeks ago i was sitting on the couch playing COD something that could make anyone drink and i was like fuck it. Went to the fridge and grabbed a bag of a 99 shooters i had bought before getting sober slammed and em all since that’s its almost back to square one i can say i get way more fucked up than i did before. My tolerance is absolutely horrible i’m drinking like i used to and can’t handle myself got an OWI leaving the casino a week later and have blacked out more in the last month than i have ever before. Although im not drinking nearly as much as i did before i mean im having a drink every night just before it was a 18 pack a night now it’s like 4 a night while at home and when im out with buddies it’s just drink till i can’t anymore. I kinda feel like shit not gonna lie. I definitely have an issue