On a Binge

I’m off work for a little awhile because of anxiety issues. Ive drank alcohol regularly since about 25 years old. I’m now almost 40 and stopped drinking certain liquors all together because of bad reactions so now I just stick to wine. I literally love the euphoric feeling it gives me, I love that it makes me care free and overall happier. I usually drink a bottle or two every other day but since I’ve been off work, it’s been everyday. I’ll start at 5pm and slowly sip away two bottles until 2am. I am not black out drunk, stumbling or anything. I know I can’t go on like this forever but it just feels so good. My sleep is lazing, hangovers are not bad, I drink plenty of water, take vitmans ect.. I’m 39f soon to be 40 this month. I’m 5’10 and weight about 200lbs (not too many people would know if though). Anyways, I don’t know the point of this but I think I am starting to feel guilty.