Worried about my drinking

It’s taken me about 4 months to even begin to accept that my drinking is a potential problem. I’m getting through a litre of vodka over 4 days at the moment. I’m a 23 y/o trainee teacher (female) and some days, the minute I wake up, the first thing about is having a drink when I get home from school. My degree is tiring, but I love it, which confuses me even more about my drinking. It’s a habit that I can’t break, and I feel that I can’t settle unless I’ve had some vodkas. It scares me, and my partner is starting to pick up on my drinking and he’s very worried now. I’m torn- part of me knows is got beyond ‘normal’ and part of me doesn’t want to acknowledge that at all