Alcoholic addiction for years HELP

I feel bad for myself I want to live to be 80 But I keep drinking away just to feel what I’m chasing Someone to hear my feelins so they ain’t stuck within If gods really real why can’t I talk to him I have been struggling to see tomorrow as I drink away these sorrows. The thirst I seek seems worse than what follows. Stuck I n ponds of tequila in which I would wallow. Aloneness is all I get in life but with a bottle.

Free minded this. I am high as a bitch. If you don’t like this. I’ll still be alcoholic