Alcohol poisoning and emotional blunting

This won’t be a light post, if you have a history with mental illness and/or addiction I suggest you keep scrolling.

First off, I’m not going to mention about details I don’t want to mention. Second, yes I quit but not because I wanted to, at least not at first. But nowadays I vomit at the mere smell of liquor, my source of liquid relief at the time, and if I ingest any I’m saying by a to my dinner. Believe me, I tried the night after the incident and I’ve been scared to try again

Between a year to a year and a half ago when I was more severely depressed I got alcohol poisoning, not sure how bad it was but I think I peaked at 0.41 BAC. Before you state the obvious, that was the intent, the idea of there being a tomorrow was forgotten until my stomach emptied itself. Since that night I haven’t felt much of anything; depression, thank God, happiness, anger, and everything in between became as rare as me being sober was at the time. I haven’t asked questions because it works but now that I look back on it I’m curious how and why it happened