I’m 21

I love drinking. Anytime I get one sip of alcohol I want to drink until I can’t function. I don’t drink by myself unless I’m super upset which is rare, im a social drinker. When I drink I can’t stop, if I get one sip of alcohol I drink until I’m super fucked up. None of my friends do that, I’m not sure why I do that. I’m drunk as I’m typing this because I just swam with my friend,now I want more. What is wrong with me? Seriously why am I like this? I’ve gotten so blacked out that I pissed myself. Wouldn’t that be so embarrassing that i quit but I just can’t. Especially being in college it’s hard to be away from alcohol. I’ve done so many embarrassing things drunk. What do I do, it seems like I can’t fight the urge. I used to smoke a lot of weed now I drink all the time 3 times a week. I don’t get why people don’t drink to get drunk? Am I an alcoholic?