Is it possible to learn to moderate?

I’d like to preface this with saying I’ve worked in the substance abuse field for years and am not looking for lectures or testaments, just other’s honest experiences – whether successful or not. My late teens and early twenties involved a lot of heavy partying, with a lot of drug and alcohol use. While I was never addicted to a particular thing, it did shape my relationship with alcohol (no drugs in years anymore, no desire to use either) and I’m finding myself always drinking a lot faster than others, and consequently, more. It does affect my days after, hangovers, anxiety, sometimes guilt or shame. I drink maybe twice-three times a month, but those times each take about 4 days full recovery. I also reach for a vape every time I drink, which makes me feel like shit the next day and causes my heart to race. I know this sounds bad, but I’ve gone months without drinking before and ofc felt great, and even went out responsibly a few times after but it always turns into this again. Curious if anyone has successfully taught themselves to drink responsibly or if I’m just prolonging an inevitable sobriety.