My Alcohol Demon

I’ve been dealing with this reaction I call “my alcohol demon” for as long as I can remember. It’s essentially the way I become this super mean person when I’m hammered. Some people become mushy and lovey dovey, but I’m a woman who becomes so brutally mean. I never remember what I say or do. I insult people I care deeply about (calling my sister fat for no reason), put myself in harms way (step in front of cars), yell and carry on and simply see red about just about anything. I know there’s a part of the population that relates, as I have one girl friend who does. Some friends think I have unresolved ego trauma I need to face and that the problem isn’t the alcohol. But I don’t know, since alcohol is poison, it feels more like the problem to me.

Anyone know what this reaction is called? Why it happens? What we can do to stop it?